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Treat Your Bridesmaids Right!


Everyone knows the horror stories about abusive brides who treat their bridesmaids like indentured servants. But of course not every bride is a bridezilla, and many truly cherish their friends. Learn how a nice bride treats her attendants.

The first step is to find a special way to invite your friends to be your bridesmaids. Sure you could text them a short message, but will that really make them feel special? Your friends are very special to you, so come up with a way to show that when you ask them to be in your wedding party. Some brides have special cookies made in the shape of a wedding dress with the message written on it in frosting. Another idea is to handwrite a personal message. It is also fun to send the message by giving out shirts that say bridesmaid across the front. Small gestures are the glue that hold long term friendships together.

Many fights spring up over the price and style of the bridesmaid dresses. Have a plan before you start shopping for your attendants’ dresses. Naturally bridesmaids prefer it when the bride gives them a lot of latitude to select anything that catches their eye. Another option is to shop at a big bridal store that offers mix and match tops and bottoms. You pick the color and fabric, and your ‘maids pick the pieces which flatter them best. If you want to have a more unified look for the wedding day, give them all matching bridesmaid jewelry gifts to wear with their dresses.

There is nothing wrong, though, with wanting more say in what your attendants wear, as long as you are reasonable. Begin by asking about their budget (unless of course you intend to pay for their dresses)! You could take just a couple of bridesmaids out to explore the various dress options and see what they think. You don’t have to give your group the final choice, but at the same time it would be nice if they did not have to wear a dress they absolutely hate. By the way, while it is the bride’s right to have the final say on the dress, insisting that your attendants wear a specific shoe crosses the line into bridezilla territory. This is also true when it comes to making specific demands about how they wear their hair or cosmetics. If you want to make sure that all of your friends look their best for your wedding, hire a makeup artist and hair stylist to come to the hotel and help make them all extra gorgeous.

Always be respectful of your friends’ time and how busy they are. Ideally your bridesmaids will be by your side for every step of the planning, but don’t demand it. Be sensitive to the fact that some of your bridesmaids may want to help a lot, while others just want to show up on the day of the wedding looking pretty. It is fine if one bridesmaid loves weddings and goes to all of your wedding gown fittings while another does not. Many brides do not realize it, but hosting a bridal shower is optional for the bridesmaids. If you treat them the way they deserve to be treated, they very well might want to organize a special party for you, just don’t ask for one. And last but not least, remember to show your appreciation by hosting a special lunch for your attendants before the wedding. It is the perfect chance to give them their bridesmaid gifts and to thank them for being your friends.

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