If your son is engaged, you are now officially the mother of the groom! It can be a challenging role to define at times, as some mothers of the groom are very involved in the wedding plans, while others do little more than show up at the appointed time. Everyone should be involved in finding the right, delicate balance, including the bride and her mother, the groom, and the mother of the groom. Try to make the engagement period go well, because it can become the basis of a fantastic relationship between the mother of the groom and her daughter-in-law. Get things off on the right foot with this great advice for the mother of the groom.
The number one rule for all mothers of grooms is to ask questions and never assume. If you have previously been the mother of the bride, it may feel odd to take a step back and defer to your son’s fiancee and her mom, but it is exactly what you should do. Ask, ask, ask! Find out what type of dress and spectacular wedding jewelry the mother of the bride plans to wear so you will know what to shop for (remember, the mother of the bride cialis dosage traditionally chooses her outfit first). Ask the bride what color the wedding party will be wearing and how formal the event will be, this will allow you to make sure you will fit in with her vision for the ceremony (within reason!). A lot of the most common bride vs. mother of the groom conflicts can be avoided if the groom’s mother does not make assumptions.
If she wants to be more involved, it’s great for the mother of the groom to offer to help the bride in making wedding plans. She and her mother may already have a vision of their dream event, so tread lightly. It is often a good idea to make a specific offer of help while still respecting the bride’s creative control. You might ask the bride if she would like you to go shopping with her for the wedding favors or help her shop for wedding jewelry for the bridesmaid gifts. Or perhaps you have a special talent that you could offer, such as addressing the wedding invitations in a beautiful hand calligraphy. If you are unsure how open your son’s fiancee will be to offers of help, start with small details to test the waters.
Of course, feel free to offer to contribute to the cost of the wedding if you are able and interested. Sometimes the mother of the bride may request to pay for a specific part of the wedding, like the flowers or the wedding cake. If you are worried that the bride may pick out something more expensive than you can afford, be clear about your financial contribution; for instance, the groom’s mom might say that she would like to contribute $2000 towards the floral budget, and from there the bride can decide to add her own funds or to work within that price range. It is very sweet if the mother of the groom gives a gift of a personal nature to the bride, such as an original wedding jewelry gift or her bridal veil.
When the groom’s parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner, there are a few things to keep in mind to make the whole process go smoothly. The mother of the groom will do most of the rehearsal dinner planning, but she should still get some input from the bride. The most important factor is formality; the rehearsal dinner should never be so grand as to upstage the wedding reception, which would be very embarrassing to the bride and her family. If you are considering several different locations for the rehearsal dinner, ask the couple which site they prefer. Smaller style details, such as the flowers and the rehearsal dinner invitations, can be chosen by the mother of the groom.
Lastly, if the mother of the bride lives far away and the groom’s mother is local, it is a kind favor to take on the role of mother of the bride when necessary. If the mother of the bride cannot come to town to help shop for a gown and wedding jewelry, the groom’s mother could step up and offer to help the bride. Or perhaps the bride would like another set of eyes to perfect her bridal bouquet, or help her choose the appropriate wedding stationary. This can be a great opportunity for the groom’s mother to spend quality time with her future daughter-in-law.
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